Job Swill

I hope there's not a word limit because this is going to be the longest post EVER.

God...What can I say about Patty's.

I guess most of the shit...well, you just had to be there. But honestly, this was 100x crazier than that stupid Johnathan Antin Salon. WE should've had the reality show.

I was a stylit's assistant at one of "Baltimore's 'BEST' salons" for two years. We'll call it Patty's, for short.

I should probably first mention that the owner is about 200 years old, thick accent, white hair slicked back into a ponytail, always wears the same shirt &slacks with the top three buttons undone, white beard...more yellowish really; my boyfriend always said he looked like a wizzard. Now here's where it gets good. He had a trach which he'd always forget to put in the little metal piece so he'd have to stick his finger in it to speak. &when he actually remembered to wear it it would, on many occasions, pop out with a loud QUACKing sound and literally shoot across the room. One of the other assistants was also a nursing student so he volunteered her to clean it out for him. Lucky girl. He would smack the assistants on the ass and make innapropriate comments on a dialy basis, mind you we were all between the ages of 17-24. He found out that I had worked as a cocktail waitress at well...a stip club and commented that maybe he'd come and watch me dance (to which I insisted that I wasn't a dancer...&he then insisted that I should be).

Now, on to co-workers from hell...
Around december he hired a new stylist who'd recently closed her own shop due to financial issues and with her she brouhgt her own assistant. She herself was quite...well...she was a total cunt. She couldn't possibly work at one of the open stations, she made another stylist who'd been there for ages pack up and relocate to the other side of the shop. She was rude and just had this phony-ass demenor, like the kind of person that is all smiles to your face then runs and talks shit about you constantly. The girl she brought with her, we absolutely could not stand. She could not follow directions. Would not close properly even months after she'd been there. She was late EVERYDAY and left early EVERY night. She'd just...not show up at all. [&never got fired because the owner was terrified of black people.] We'd make fun of her mercilessly...but she was kind of slow to catch on. I feel bad about it now because she's a shitty employee, but she's definitely a fun girl to hang out with. But anyway, this stylist's clients , most of them anyway, were just as rude as she was. The salon offered ALL hair services, obviously meaning that we were trained on ALL hair types (simply stated, yes, even us white girls knew how to take care of balck people's hair); if one of us had to take on her client because her assistant, as usual, was late or had called out, she'd send them over and they'd scowl at you and act like you had no idea what you were doing, "uh are you gonna scrub hard enough?" (Sure, I can make your scalp bleed if that's what you'd like. I'll wear gloves) "you ever rinsed a perm before?"(No, I've only been working in the salon industry for four years. What's that?). And of course, they never tipped. She would yell out for you to bring her stuff from across the room, make you drop what you were doing to sweep her station, never said please or thank you.

I worked at a horrible company for almost two years. I really pity the people still there. Anyhoo, while employed there, I met my now boyfriend (of almost two years). We dated, and kept things between us strictly professional while at work. But, soon enough, the rumor-mill started cranking, and people were gossiping. Now, this company, at the time had a "no dating" policy. But, we didn't care...both of us knew that we'd be outta there soon enough. But, here's the clincher...my boss called me into his office on three separate occassions to speak to me about my budding relationship with my boyfriend. I, of course, denied our relationship until the day one of us left. But, the funny thing is...I couldn't help but not laugh at my boss to his face during these three conversations. Because the son of a bitch actually left his ex-wife, for his secretary! I mean, c'mon!! Don't throw bricks if you live in a glass house.

Now, I'm 6 months into my new job. I just heard through some old co-workers that my boss is going through his second divorce. Poor fella.

(Posted by Lee-lo)

I type this with hesistant fingers, as I'm sure my ex-boss (who ALWAYS works SOOOOO hard) is probably surfing the Web, looking at porn and trying to steal other groups' ideas, as I write this. Whew, deep breath, here goes.

I am a hard working college graduate, who wanted to make the world a better place, post-graduation. I joined a non-profit and proceeded to barely endure the worst year and half of my life under the most incompetent, tyrannical, miserable, fugliest, unhappiest boss ever. (Well, if you could call her a boss, her management skills were similar to those of a gorilla who had undergone a lobotomy. Shit-throwing included.)

This person had it out for me from the start, threw things (cell phones, staplers) at me, yelled at me daily, called me dumb just about daily. Uh, bitch, you're the one that hired me!

NEVER ONCE DID I TURN OFF MY CELL PHONE the entire time I worked there, becuse HER MAJESTY WAS SO DAMN FUCKING IMPORTANT. Constant multiple phone calls on the weekends to run down to the office to take care of something that was HER RESPONSIBILITY, her fuckup. I lived in fear of that damn ringtone.

The irony? I am a tough-as-nails, no BS kinda person. I call it like it is and don't take crap from anyone. Except, strangely enough, from her.

i have been with a software company for almost nine years, My original boss was a wonderful man, he was the owner of the company and his side kick was my actual boss and these guys did so much for us (employees) on several occations they bailed my ass out of many jams and let me pay them off from each paycheck and then once even forgave the debt for my christmas present. My fellow employess i loved and we all got along. a great little family based company not perfect but hey i couldnt ask for any thing better. Then after 13 long years the owner sold the company and it was bought by a local company not bad but a startup with big dreams and not enuff money so we where sold again... by a ohio company owned by a couple of brothers and omg did things change. i was told that we would loose our good med bennis and i asked the head honcho about this and he just said WE DONT CODDLE OUR EMPLOYEES and i thought oh boy not off to a good start.

they put our nasally, no personallity, butt puckery, ass kissing programmer in charge of the company and it went from bad to worse. they put one of the other tech support persons in charge, i think mainly cuz she would go around an tell the bigg boss how much she was working and then bitch a whole lot about everybody and pump her self up.. she was the worst, monotone, bitchy , rude to customers and she hated taking calls so she got her self in managment. there is so many instantance i cant even remember , i havent had a raise in 4 years i even worked really hard to make sure i was on time, dressed nice and closed much more calls than was expected of me and i didnt even get thankyou but instead the former programmer who is making 150,000 to be a freeken office manager had the nerve to tell me i get paid to much for what i do and that not to expect a increase in wages ..even thought every year im making less because of the cost of living.

The woman I share an office with is going through menopause. It's an absolute nightmare. She just eviscerated the boss because he had the audacity to ask her, the office manager, to get a catered lunch sent in today. "You want me to WHAT???" and "From WHERE???" and then, muttered under her breath, "These people cain't wipe they ASS without me." She has a little bit of a southern accent so that makes the effect even more hilarious. Believe it or not, it's actually pretty funny when you're not the intended target of her venomous rage. I'm loathe to say anything to her, mostly because I'm terrified of her instability, but also because I'll be staring down that same barrel one day.

(Posted by Jez)

I work for a new progressive real estate business in the NJ/NY/CT area as an NBC (New Business Consultant aka glorified receptionist from our 1-800 #). They are extremely flexible and understanding to my schedule as I am out quite often to treatment & illness of my Crohn's disease.

Let's put it this way, I start every day with a smile on my face and even when I have a bad day I still look forward to the next day. Besides all of that, the people I work with are energetic and happy to be there too.

I love my job.

(Posted by A.D.)

Lets call her Shana. My last job at a software company I worked with the biggest bitch EVER. I've never worked with someone like this. She would go behind my back and tell my managers that I'm slow (totally opposite). I've never met anyone so insecure before. Everyone said that she was so jealous of the way I looked and dressed. People would come by to talk to me and her face turned bright red and she was upset and never spoke to the people who would talk to me.

She never talked to anyone in my group except for me. She was a backstabber and everything I said she opposed. I seriously haven't met a 'girl' so childish and jealous before. If I got attention, she would get jealous. A guy at the office use to come by and talk to me a lot and she never talked back to him.

She also had this weird relationship with a senior mgr we worked with. They would make sexual jokes..he would smack her in the ass with a folder and call her "dear" when he called her on his cellphone after office hours. She would stick her boobs out and her fat gut just to get anyone's attention.

She whored her way to the top because the insecure freaks I worked with loved the attention she would give them.

One time my trains were delayed and Shanna went online to check to see if I was really delayed! HA! What a LOSER! She made my days bitter and motivated me to get out of that environment. Also, she got so much attention for whoring around, that any work you did, didn't matter. The mgrs loved her cause she was engaging in some other activity outside of work. OFFICE WHORE to the max. Backstabbing bitch! I never have to deal with her again.

(Posted by Office whore/ass't)

I have a co worker named "Christa" who is nice to my face but as soon as I leave she is nothing but mean. She talks about me behind my back and used to crank call me in the middle of the night when she found out I was dating another co worker she had a thing for. But when I confronted her she always says she does not have any problems with me.

I also have another co wokrer named "Kristen" who makes up stories about me to my boss. Fortunately my boss does not believe them. She also "cries" when confronted about anything & can stop crying on command. She wanted me to work in this office with her & agreed to everything I suggested, then tries to get me fired every other day.

(Posted by T.S.)

My co-worker yelled at me for using the "expensive" rubber bands. They were the larger types of rubber bands. I mean, who CARES!

I have never met a more loathsome, disgusting or annoying person than my boss. He's the CEO of a very small commercial real estate company in Sacramento, and there are only about 6 of us in the office. I've been here for 2.5 years as his "executive assistant" which is basically just a glorified word processor and personal shopper.

He is 40 years old and he does not know how to operate a computer. He refuses to learn anything, so I print off all his emails (they come into my Inbox), and give them to him, and he handwrites his responses on them and returns them to me to type. He dictates all his emails, letters, faxes, memos, leases, purchase agreements, everything on tapes which he also belches on, slurps his drinks and smacks while eating or sucking on candy. He calls employees at all hours - for example, he's called me on weekends to ask where his favorite pen was, how to turn the computer on and plug in his iPod to charge it, and if I sent a certain email to so-and-so. He called me once when I traveled cross country to attend a funeral to ask me to bring nectarines into the office when I returned. He has me order everything online for him from underwear to socks to Viagra to plants for his many, many whorish women. Everyone seems to think he's gay but yet he manages to hook up with all these slutty women who only want him for his money (he's got huge ears, beady eyes and greasy skin). He truly is very socially awkward and tries making jokes that are at about a 3rd grade level, such as yesterday when my back hurt he said "If I kick you in the shin will it help?" Who says that?

Furthermore, we have a revolving staff of receptionists because they can each only take the belittling, degrading treatment from him for so long. I've hung in there for the money, but thank God, my last day is in 2 weeks. He makes his personal life known, as if ANYONE cares, such as last year when he knocked up a girl and then dumped her when she wouldn't get an abortion. One day I came in and had to type up his child support agreement. He has me email all his sluts with things like "Candy Shorts, when will I see you? Let's have a threesome next weekend. Bring the 'party favors.'" No, I'm not kidding.